Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Tekken stylee
by Keelz and Vonnie
Summary: Devil (in a suit?!!?) hosting a game show. Not for Xiaoyu/Julia/Forest/Lei fans. Especially not Xiaoyu fans. Alot of Xiaoyu dissing here.Very strong language. Don't say we didn't warn ya...
1. Our host Devil... in a suit?!!!?

It's time to play… Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?  
  
Your special host tonight is… Devil?!!! In a suit???!!!!!  
  
*The host, in his brand new suit enters the room accompanied by the theme tune. First there is silence as all eyes are on him. Next, the sound of roaring laughing and hysteria follow*  
  
Keelz: Go spiffy boy! ^-^  
  
Devil: *eyes blazing red, yup, all 3 of 'em* SILENCE!  
  
*Everyone instantly shuts up*  
  
Devil: That's better. *His eyes return to normal* Welcome to Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Now lets meet tonight's contestants!  
  
1= Heihachi Mishima, from Japan, even though he has been disowned by the country.  
  
2= Bryan Fury, from a testing lab in the middle of nowhere.  
  
3= Gon, from Jurassic Park island, the farty little dinosaur section.  
  
4= Ling Xiaoyu, from China.  
  
Keelz: *from in the audience* Smelly cow!  
  
Vonnie: *also from in the audience* Boo!  
  
Devil: Ahem. As I was saying…  
  
5= Hwoarang, from Korea.  
  
Vonnie: *from in the audience, oogling* Wahoo!! Yeah!! Go Hwoarang!!!!!  
  
*Hwoarang smiles and starts to act like a movie star much to Vonnie's glee. *  
  
Devil: O…K…anywho…  
  
6=Forest Law from America.  
  
7=Lei Wulong from Hong Kong.  
  
*Lei and Law start to give each other evils. *  
  
Devil: Ri-ight…  
  
8=Paul Phoenix from America.  
  
*The evil glaring gets a lot worse. It eventually breaks out into bitch slapping. Security runs in (Security being Yoshimitsu and Jun) and separates them. *  
  
Devil: Thanks guys…I can't handle a fight tonight…anywho…  
  
9=Jin Kazama from Japan.  
  
Keelz: *from the audience, oogling * Yay!!! Go sexy boy!!  
  
*Jin smiles and blushes a little. *  
  
Devil: Please no more interruptions! Now…  
  
Finally 10=Julia Chang from America.  
  
*Julia starts to eye up Ling. Ling in return eyes up Julia. *  
  
Devil: Now it's time to play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!  
  
*Doodle dum doodle dum doodle dum doodle dum doooooooooo…. a. Cos so says the music. Ya ha! *  
  
Devil: Now, what our contestants have to do is put the following four events in order and whoever does so in the fastest time will be our first player. Contestants! Place these four people in order from smartest to dumbest. *quickly * Kazuya Mishima, Heihachi Mishima, Ling Xiaoyu, Kuma.  
  
*A few seconds pass and everyone's done. *  
  
Devil: And now for the answers. First, the smartest, Kuma.  
  
Kuma: *from the audience * Rrrrr!!  
  
Devil: Second, you should have Kazuya Mishima.  
  
Kazuya: *from inside Devil * Not fucking fair! Why's that fucking bear smarter than me!  
  
Devil: Shut up Kazuya. Third you should have Heihachi Mishima.  
  
Heihachi: Kazuya! Smarter than me! Like hell he is!  
  
Kazuya: *from inside Devil * Shut up you mother fucking bastard!  
  
Heihachi: Kazuya! Mind your mouth!  
  
Devil: Yeah! Remember:  
  
We're on television here, and  
  
You talking inside me is giving me majorly bad heartburn!  
  
Kazuya: *from inside Devil * Devils have hearts?  
  
Devil: Yes we do, they may be dark, evil, twisted and black, but they're there dammit!  
  
Kazuya: *from inside Devil * OK I'll shut up.  
  
Devil: Thanks.  
  
Keelz: *from the audience * Kazuya's a weiner!  
  
Vonnie: *from the audience * Damn straight!  
  
Devil: Please don't provoke him! Now then…and the last one, the dumbest was Ling Xiaoyu.  
  
Xiaoyu: What? Huh? Repeat that I wasn't listening. Did I win?  
  
Devil: No…anywho…the one who got it right and in the fastest time is…Gon?!?  
  
With 1.03 seconds!?  
  
(Everyone gasps in horror.)  
  
Hwoarang: What the fuck! I was beaten by a fucking dinosaur! That's just shit man!  
  
Vonnie: *from the audience * Innit!  
  
Jin: *screaming, he's off his rocker now * SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!  
  
Hwoarang: Hey! Don't you go swearing more than me you little mother fucking shit eating bastard!!!  
  
Jin: *still screaming * Now that's just crossing the fucking line you self- wanking shit-faced cunt-fucker man-bitch!  
  
Hwoarang: UNFAIR!  
  
*They go to attack each other but Jun runs in with a rolled up newspaper. They settle down. *  
  
Devil: Ri-ight…I would like to remind all that this is live TV and now we shall have to wait until next time to find out how Gon gets on in Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!  
  
Lee: Oh Devil…what ever did happen to Chris Tarrant?  
  
Devil: Ah…him…cut to the commercials! NOW!  
  
Commercial break #1: Extra Large Extra soft Huggies, designed for the aging geezer.  
  
What'll happen when Gon takes centre stage? Where is Chris Tarrant? And who will be up next? Why does Heihachi endorse Huggies???  
  
We'll post the next part up ASAP! 


	2. Let the game begin…heheheheheee…

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Tekken stylee  
  
Chapter 2: let the game begin…heheheheheee…  
  
  
  
Devil: If any viewers out there are wondering what in the world happened to the previous host of this show, I can answer that for you.  
  
*He taps his stomach. *  
  
C. Tarrant: *from inside Devil's belly * Aah! Help me! Get me out of here!  
  
Devil: Are you sure? Do you want to go 50/50?  
  
C. Tarrant: *from inside Devil's belly * I'll phone a friend!  
  
Kazuya: *from inside Devil * Ooh a playmate! Cheers Devil!  
  
Devil: That's all right.  
  
*He returns his attention to Gon. *  
  
Devil: Gon, are you ready to play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?  
  
Gon: Grrraaa!  
  
Devil: OK then! Let's play!  
  
(Little interval doodly music.)  
  
Devil: For £100, tell me what colour is Panda's bow? Is it:  
  
Purple polka dots with green and yellow stripes  
  
Red lace with big blue beads  
  
Yellow  
  
Non existent  
  
Gon: *hitting panel with nose * Grrraaa!  
  
Devil: You have chosen c…and you're correct you've won £100.  
  
*Gon dances about. Everyone else is gobsmacked. *  
  
Hwoarang: Ah shit the dinosaur is smart…  
  
Jin: We'll be here till the next fucking Stone Age rolls round at this rate!  
  
1 Time passes…  
  
Devil: And now for £1,000, 000…  
  
Jin: *yelling * You little fucker Gon! Smart Ass!  
  
Hwoarang: I back that!  
  
Devil: Shut up! Anywho…for £1,000, 000, can you tell me which physicist used Planck's quantum theory to explain the photoelectric effect, in which charged particles such as electrons are emitted from certain materials when electromagnetic radiation strikes the materials? Is it:  
  
Hermann Muller  
  
Albert Einstein  
  
Hermann von Helmholtz  
  
Gustav Robert Kirchhoff  
  
Hwoarang: He'd have to be a rocket scientist to figure this out…  
  
Gon: Grrraaa rraaa rrrraaa!  
  
*He hits the panel with his nose. *  
  
Devil: You've chosen B…which is…CORRECT! You've just won £1,000,000!  
  
*Gon dances around very happily. Everyone else is shocked beyond belief. Devil hands him a cheque and he leaves with a cigar in his mouth and surrounded by blonde supermodels. *  
  
Jin: A fucking loaded dinosaur…well…that's the most stupid thing ever…  
  
Hwoarang: Yeah…now don't that just beat all?  
  
Jin: *he's lost it again * THIS IS BLOODY RIDICULOUS!! We're getting our fucking asses kicked in by a dinosaur that's just under two feet bloody tall!  
  
Hwoarang: Here he goes…again…  
  
Jin: *mad man, mad man * that shit-sniffing cock-sucking fucker gimpy dick- assed wanker of all fuckers and retards!  
  
Xiaoyu: Jin…chill out…  
  
Jin: *he gone completely bonkers * Shut your fucking trap you fucking bitch whore cunt shit-brained slapper dog-raping Julia-bonking ass wiped slut!  
  
Hwoarang: Ooh…you pissed him off…  
  
*Vonnie is laughing her ass off in the audience. *  
  
Hwoarang: And at least this entertains the masses.  
  
Devil: And I am so thankful that this is being played after the watershed.  
  
*Keelz leaps down to Jin and covers his mouth with her hand. *  
  
Keelz: You'd better shut up before you embarrass yourself Jin…  
  
*Jin mumbles something. She removes her hand. *  
  
Keelz: What?  
  
Jin: I wouldn't have to go mad if that f…  
  
*She puts her hand back quickly. *  
  
Keelz: Don't wanna hear it.  
  
Devil: If you can shut him up by all means stick around and do so. I really can't have him interrupting me again with his angered outbursts. We must find our next contestant!  
  
Vonnie: *from the audience, slightly peeved * Hey! No fair! How comes she gets to go and stay with Jin! T_T  
  
Hwoarang: *flops over * Aah! My waist! I can't sit up! Need help!  
  
Devil: Come on then. But keep him quiet too.  
  
*Vonnie very happily takes up the offer and sits with Hwoarang, but not before he tapes Keelz' hands to Jin's face. *  
  
Hwoarang: That'll shut him up.  
  
Devil: Can I continue!  
  
Hwoarang: Yep.  
  
Devil: Right. To be in the next round you have to put these four items in order of their usefulness…*quickly * paperclips, elastic bands, staples, pins.  
  
*After several seconds everyone is finished. *  
  
Devil: Right…now…to find out what order they're in…you'll have to tune in after these commercials.  
  
Commercial break #2: A 10ft pole and a scarf the survival kit ideal for people whose cannibalistic fathers like to eat their necks.  
  
Which is the most useful out of the four items of junk? Who will be up for the hot seat next? Will Keelz ever get her hands un-taped from Jin's mouth? Does she want to be un-taped from Jin's mouth? Will we ever find out why Heihachi endorses Huggies?!!?  
  
Yes…I know…it's all very odd…this has a higher rating than part 1 for obvious reasons. We couldn't resist adding ourselves in. Can ya blame us! Honestly! Next part up soonies! 


End file.
